When you and your partner live hundreds to thousands of miles apart, it’s a lot harder to satisfy that desire for s*x and get that real powerful hit of intimacy than it would be if you lived in the same house (or within driving distance, at least).
But some couples don’t have that luxury, for whatever reasons and still need to find ways to show some physical affection. Those in long-distance relationships know all about this struggle — and kudos to you for making it work, as we all know how hard LDRs can be.
Because look, distance can make the heart grow fonder but it can also make your body grow desperate. While phone calls and video chats and dirty texts can satisfy a lot of that need, sometimes you need ways to keep the s*xy, steamy parts of your dynamic alive when you can’t actually hold each other (and do other things) as much as you want to. You and your one and only have already figured out how to keep the relationship going, but you might still be due for an overhaul of your LDR s*x life.
From s*x toys, to games to yes, LDR maintenance s*x, here’s our advice (and product recs) for keeping your long distance love happy and hot.
At the most basic level in keeping your s*x life steamy if you’re in an LDR, there is sending photos and videos through our phones or through a more temporary method, such as Snapchat (or a good encrypted texting app), as well as interfacing on Skype or FaceTime, suggests s*x therapist, Dr. Rachel Allyn.
“Having a visual — being able to see a person’s face and body — is ideal,” she says. “Hearing one’s voice is a close second, with texts typically being the least erotic method.”
Get yourself some toys!
It can be fun and s*xy and alleviate that s*xual tension you have while apart.
Whether you’re making sure you’re still getting off or incorporating them into some video chat play — get yourself some vibrators. Plus. you and your partner can totally play with it next time you’re together.
And you’ll find a lifelong (or until it dies) friend to keep you warm on lonely nights.
Send a s*xy subscription box
Places like Unbound curate s*xual wellness items into subscription boxes that are tailored to different experiences and s*xual exploration. All items are high quality and body safe, says its founder, Polly Rodriguez. She recommends sending Unbound’s couples box to get your partner excited for the next time you’ll be together or even the G-spot box to encourage your partner to indulge more in solo play and potentially even use for video/phone s*x.
Long-distance s*x toys
Have s*x toys advanced or what? We-Vibe’s Sync, for example, takes cybers*x to a whole other level. It’s just one of the many s*x toys that allow one partner to use the s*x toy while the other partner controls it through a mobile app. “You can share in the experience together. Although only one of you is stimulated with the s*x toy, it’s still a s*xy way to keep your LDR steamy,” says Kayla Lords, a s*xpert for Jack and Jill.
Similar to the s*x toys controlled by an app, products like Kiiroo’s couples set are meant for both partners. It uses smart technology and teledildonics to allow both partners to experience s*xual stimulation at the same time, explains Lords. The Onyx is used for a partner with a penis, and the Pearl is meant for a partner with a vulva — which means that any couple can use the s*x toy that works for their body. “When you use it together (regardless of the distance between you), the power of virtual reality allows you to “feel” your partner through the s*x toy you have in your hand.”
Erotic books & games
Buy a book of erotica and read it over the phone to each other or get ideas about phone s*x. Or get yourself a pair of fun and s*xy dice. Whatever you and your partner roll, they have to do, even if it is just virtually.
Send your panties
There’s nothing s*xier than sending your partner a pair of your favorite panties. They’re one of the most intimate gifts because nobody gets to see you in them besides you and your partner. Sending them a pair of your favorite — or their favorite — is like sending them a little piece of you. You can even take this a s*xy step forward by first wearing the panties and then sending them. Who doesn’t love the natural smell of their partner?
Clone your privates for your bae
Almost as good as the real thing, the Clone-a-Pussy vagina-casting kit allows anyone with a vagina to create an exact replica of the outer portion of their vagina for their partner. It’s s*xy, fun and totally safe for your V. When you’re back together, you can even use it with foreplay.
Long-distance relationships can create high-stakes expectations. You don’t need to give each other the biggest orgasms of your lives the moment you step off the plane, but make sure you’re making up for that lost time together. And then when you or your lover has to depart again, the memory of the passionate s*x will stay in their mind.