Few things are more frustrating than meeting a fantastic person and then never hearing from him again.
How many hours have you spent trying to figure out why a guy didn’t contact you after everything seemed so promising?
Let me take care of the guesswork for you…
and explain you how to avoid this pattern repeating itself:
He’s having trouble being honest: If you and a man hit it off, but then he never seems to make the initiative to see you again – then something else is going on.
Men often have a hard time sharing the truth about their feelings with women they’ve just met. Maybe he’s already seeing someone else. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute – are you dating anyone interesting right now?”
Invite honesty from men, and you’ll get it. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy.
• He’s not looking for something serious right now:
If a man really likes you, but he is more interested in something casual and senses you’re not that kind of girl, he’ll move on – partially out of respect for you.
The timing is simply off. Not calling you back was his way of letting you know where he’s at without having to say it directly. Take heart – in this case he’s actually doing you a favour by not calling.
He was just being polite:
Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, all the while dreading the idea of ever talking to him again? Men do something similar with women.
Sometimes men can enjoy a date with you but not really be interested in anything more. In this case, a man was just being polite by saying he’d call.
• Something told him you two are not a good fit:
This is usually the one that feels most frustrating for women, because you feel as if he’d only gotten to know you better, he’d see how wonderful you are.
And you’re right – knowing if someone is right for you takes time. But you deserve a man who is intrigued enough by you on a first date to want to see you again.
So how do you set yourself up to maximise your chances that a guy will call…and that YOU’LL be deciding whether or not to keep seeing him? Well, try this…
As you can see, none of these four reasons – except the last – has anything to do with who you are as a woman. It’s your choice to give the situations you come across with men the meaning you want. Here’s what I mean by that:
You can feel wounded or confused if you criticize yourself because a guy didn’t pick up the phone and call you soon away. That bewilderment or dread comes over in a variety of subtle ways the next time you pick up the phone and try to have a casual conversation with that man, or another male.
In other words, if you approach a new man with the fear that he would be like all the previous guys and not call, odds are he will not! Your biggest nightmares play out in front of your eyes.
Instead, begin to see men with compassion: every man has experienced a great bit of rejection and is just as frightened of being harmed as you are.
If you can approach the next guy with the expectation that he’s basically a good person trying to do the right thing, you’ll create a sense of trust and ease that will make him FEEL like calling again…and again.
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